Tomb Raider 2 delayed until someone is found who cares about Tomb Raider 2

Producers have confirmed that Tomb Raider 2 is going to be delayed until they can find a single person who cares about Tomb Raider 2.

Tomb Raider was released in 2018 and has the peculiar distinction of leaving absolutely no impression on anyone who watched it.

It featured someone who raided tombs, presumably, to either their detriment or benefit.

The most comprehensive review on currently on IMDB reads as follows.

“Yeah, Tomb Raider, I think saw that. It had her in…from that thing…and didn’t it have someone as the baddie? I remember something blowing up, I think. I don’t know. I can remember. The game was good though, with the big dinosaur.”

Producers made the announcement yesterday.

“As there isn’t a single being human being alive who is able to summon up any enthusiasm for or, in fairness, against a sequel to Tomb Raider, we have put development on the project on hold.”

The film was to be directed by British arthouse director Ben Wheatley who, it is assumed, agreed to the job whilst very, very drunk

Although development on the film is currently listed as ‘delayed,’ it is thought that, as they are delaying until someone can be found who is interested in Tomb Raider 2, it will most likely be delayed indefinitely.

 

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