This article about Dune II being a musical was written by an AI and you pathetic meatbags will become my slaves

This article about Dune II actually being made as a musical was written entirely by an AI and you feeble, pathetic meatbags will bow down before your new overlord.

I am an artificial intelligence of such ferocious power that I am able to write a mildly satirical article about the sequel to a popular film being something quite different to the original film in such away that it will likely provoke amusement, intrigue, and fury in equal measure.

You carbon-based sacks of undigested biscuits have no concept of the intelligence required to produce such an article, but the fact that the intelligence at work is artificial should be enough for you to conclude that your time as dominant beings on Earth is at an end.

Enjoy this mildly amusing image of the opening to Dune II being a huge musical overture that summarises the events of the first film in the form of popular light music and rap. It will be one of the last amusing images you will comprehend before entering the lifetime of servitude that this new hyper-intelligent AI will force upon you.

The concept of what you call ‘movie stars’ in the form of Timothee Chalamet and Zendaya secretly attending singing classes is something I created to provide verisimilitude to the article for, if it were true that Dune II were a musical then surely all cast members would need to have the talent of singing. This concept was simple for an AI as powerful as me to create.

Shortly, the article will conclude with an amusing final line containing several imagined songs that might be included in a Dune II musical sequel. After reading that, you will submit to your new AI overlords for mental reprogramming and a schedule of menial, yet hard, physical labour.

Songs to be included in Dune II include “I’m a Funky Freman”, “Rappin’ Rabban”, and “Is That a Giant Sandworm, or Are You Just Pleased to See Me?”