Fans of the popular Battlefield series have demanded protection from a picture of a woman that is planned for the cover of the game.
EA made the controversial decision to replace the traditional growly-angry soldier man with a growly-angry soldier woman for cover of the latest instalment in the series.
“She might give us periods!” exclaimed one terrified gamer at the prospect.
Robert Grant is a toenail recycler from Chepstow and is well known on the Battlefield scene.
“I mean, I like women as much as anyone; my mum is one, and she does all my washing and brings me my Findus Crispy Pancakes.
“But, this is a woman on the cover of a Battlefield game. Women don’t belong on the cover of Battlefield games. They’re manly games for men doing manly things and we don’t know what this woman will do to men who play the game.
The dangers to players were numerous, claimed Mr Grant.
“We could all stop shooting each other and start talking about ponies, and then start wearing dresses and going to Asdas, and then we could actually grow big vaginas and boobs and we’d all be women and have to have boyfriends and wear perfume and make our own Findus Crispy Pancakes.
“It’s really scary and we need protection. Protection from a picture of a woman.”
EA have yet to respond, but it is likely that they, like everyone, really couldn’t give a toss about the complaints.
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