Switch 2 makes everything alright

Everything is now much better following the release of a the Nintendo Switch 2.

Since its release earlier this morning, men and women all over the world have found love in their heart, joy and happiness has spread through all peoples, and Mrs Walpole of Bridlington has found the keys she lost last Thursday.

“I’ll be honest, I was worried for a while there,” said an anonymous UN delegate. 

“It seemed that the world was just getting worse – hate, bigotry, violence and pain were everywhere.  Wars in Ukraine and Gaza, the rise of the far right, Donald Trump being Donald Trump. It really wasn’t looking good for the world.

“But with the release of the Switch 2, I think we’re all going to be fine.”

People across the globe are said to be emerging from their homes, blinking, and seeing the world in a new light after receiving their new Switch 2 and playing a bit of Mario Kart World.

“I don’t know, everything else just seems trivial after that,” said one man in London who was found wandering the streets in a daze, smiling to himself. 

“War, famine, man’s inhumanity to man, it simply pales next to my new Switch 2.”

As the world’s ills slowly heal, it seems that future generations should take note – sometimes even mankind’s greatest woes can be cured by humanity coming together as one to fling red shells at each other.