Spooky: Plot of Moonfall also current best-case scenario for 2022

In a strange coincidence, it has been revealed that the plot of new film Moonfall is also currently the best-case scenario for how the rest of the year plays out.

Stewart James is an actuary who has created a number of models for 2022.

“Well, what I do is attempt to measure risk and uncertainty. I do this by producing a series of models for the future based on what happened in the recent past.

“So, based on what has happened in 2020-2021, my models indicate that the most likely scenario for 2022 is the coronavirus mutates further into giant, intelligent floating bastards that go round eating people.

“I’m, of course, not saying that will definitely happen, just that, based on how things have been for humanity recently, it’s the most likely outcome.”

However, he also had other models.

“Oh yes, if you tweak the data slightly then the model shows, again, based on how things have been going recently, the model shows that all cats and dogs will join together, rise up and enslave humans.

“If that happens, it’ll be on a Thursday in April, so, you know, maybe stay in that day.

“I’ve got another model that shows giant angry alien androids invading, another that has the dead rise up and bring back 3D films. I mean, 2022 isn’t going to be great, here, another has a portal to hell appearing in Chelmsford, just behind StarBurger in the precinct.”

However, it was the best-case scenario that was most intriguing.

“Yes, of all the models I’ve made, the most pleasant outcome for all of us is the one where the moon crashes into earth. Just like Moonfall. Is that a coincidence or what? I had no idea about the film when I made the models and they had certainly never seen my models.

“So, you know, go and see it and keep your fingers crossed that 2022 plays out just like that, because, according to my models, that’ll be a pretty good outcome, compared to everything else that could happen.

“I mean, giant slugs, no one wants that.”