The redesigned Sonic the Hedgehog character for the new movie will feature a small, blue hedgehog penis, the studio has confirmed.
The redesign was sparked by a disastrous trailer for the film that looked like Sonic the Hedgehog had been designed by someone who actively hated Sonic the Hedgehog.
“Yeah, we made a mistake, we get that,” explained director Jeff Fowler.
“So, we’ve gone away, we’ve rethought the look of Sonic the Hedgehog and we’ve made him a bunch more realistic.
“He had the teeth already, so we’ve built on that design decision and we’ve given him fingernails, nipples and a small, blue hedgehog penis.
Some fans had concerns
“I have concerns,” tweeted @SonicMad, a fan.
“Sonic the Hedgehog can achieve some really quite impressive speeds, could the penis prove problematic with regards to wind resistance? I mean, if you’ve got a blue hedgehog running at hypersonic speeds, then you’ve got to obey the laws of physics.”
Mr Fowler was happy to quell those fears.
“We’ve been in contact with the boys at MIT, they’ve crunched the numbers and run some computer models and have recommended a size of penis that is in keeping with Sonic’s ability to run at speed.
“So, there really is nothing to worry about now, I’m sure Sonic the Hedgehog’s penis will prove a huge hit with fans.”
With the addition of Sonic the Hedgehog’s penis, the world waits with some trepidation for how the movie will depict Sonic’s long-running girlfriend Amy Rose
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