REVEALED! New James Bond to be a DUCK!

a duck, on the water, flinging its wings forward. New James Bond
"Mr Bond, I've been expecting you."

Henry Cavill and Idris Elba have long been the favourites to be the new James Bond but according to studio documents seen by Screen Idle, the rumour-mill could be very, very wrong on this.

The documents indicate that the studio is keen to try something quite different. A complete reworking of the character. So much so that the new James Bond could well not be human, but instead be a duck.

A key portion of the documents is the casting guidelines.

Cast GL for new JB:

  • Good feathering
  • Loud quack
  • Nice feet without weird manky bits on
  • Attractive to mallards

Although, it isn’t explicitly stated that they are looking for a duck, the references to feathering and quacking do seem to indicate that is the direction the studio is looking to go. The guidelines would, at the very least, put both Elba and Cavill at a severe disadvantage.

Stewart James runs the James Bond blog Oh James.

“Well, it’s not the first time they’ve considered moving away from a human James Bond,” he said.

“I remember that after Tim Dalton, they were looking for that radical reinvention of the character and saw a number of horses for the role and, as I understand it, Desert Orchid got down to the final two before producers ultimately went with Pierce Brosnan.

“Ultimately, it probably is time to ring the changes, so if they decided to replace Daniel Craig with a duck, I’d be fine with that.”

It is understood that producers are interested in seeing Donald, Scrooge, Huey, Dewey, Louie, Daffy, and Daisy. Not Howard though, he’s rubbish.


*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’

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