The BBC has announced that its new Sunday evening nature documentary will be its raunchiest yet.
The documentary – The Life of Life – will feature:
- Full frontal lion nudity.
- Topless cockatoos.
- Sloths engaging in extensive foreplay.
- Giraffes having explicit naked sex.
“It’s our hottest nature documentary yet,” declared Stewart James, Head of the BBC’s Sexy Natural History Unit.
“These animals don’t care! They see the cameras and you’d expect them to shyly get dressed and hide, but not at all, they’re happy for us to film them stark naked and taking part in all manner of acts.
“Good for them, I say.”
Mr James went on the reveal the sexist moment of the whole series.
“Oh, that would definitely be the mountain zebras,” he said, going a little red in the face at the thought.
“There were two of them on a rocky outcrop at the base of the Brandberg mountain in Namibia.
“They were getting frisky, and things were clearly leading somewhere when all of a sudden a third zebra appeared through the bushes.
“The two zebras stopped and looked at each other, and we thought they were going to chase this third one off. But they didn’t.
“They carried on and put on a full mountain zebra sex show for that lucky zebra.
“It took a while to sink in exactly what had happened.
“We’d just captured the first ever act of mountain zebra dogging on camera.”
Another world first for the BBC’s legendary Sexy Natural History Unit.
The Life of Life will be broadcast after the watershed at 9pm on BBC1 and families are advised not to let young, impressionable pets tune in.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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