A ragtag group of plucky survivors have found themselves holed up together as they try and wait out the release of yet another zombie TV show on one of the streaming services.
“It was called And Death Follows or something,” explained Kelly Grace, the leader of the group.
“I put Netflix on and there was a trailer for it. I was terrified that I’d get sucked into watching it, so I just grabbed little Jason and ran. I met up with these guys and we’re waiting it out in the Town Hall.
“There’s the Professor over there and Sergeant Michaels, he’s ex-military so he’s got great experience for something like this, but he’s on a bit of a short-fuse. Tina’s holding up well, but she really wants to see her boyfriend and Davey over there is the school nerd.
“He’s been really helpful; he’s managed to hack into a feed that gives us access to the BBC IPlayer and there’s a lot on there that isn’t zombie-based.
“I think we’ll be okay.”
However, Sergeant Michaels disagreed.
“The BBC? No way is that enough content. We’re acting like And Death Follows will only have one season. That’s crazy. Crazy! We’re not going to be able to just wait this out and then get back to normal. We’ve got to start fighting back, because there’s going to be season after season of the damn-“
At the moment a light begins urgently flashing.
“Be quiet,” snaps the sergeant. It seems someone is approaching the Town Hall.
“That guy?” whispered Kelly, “him who’s banging on the door? He’s seen And Death Follows and he keeps trying to get in and tell us how brilliant it is and how we should all be watching it.”
Everyone remains quiet and eventually the man goes away but it’s easy to see how precarious their position is. If just one person gets in and starts telling them how brilliant And Death Follows is, they might succumb and watch just one episode to see what it’s like and then get sucked in and spend the next 7-8 years hooked on yet another zombie TV show.
A terrifying fate to be avoided at all costs.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
Want to know what’s on telly this weekend? No problem, click on this Weekend Film Guide
Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
Or, if links aren’t your thing, here’s an old article you might like…
New sequel to focus on Paddington’s attempts to legitimise his criminal empire
The recently announced Paddington 3 will detail the loveable Peruvian bear’s attempts to extricate his family from organised crime and the mafia and become a legitimate businessman.
Having spent the first two films establishing a ruthless criminal empire based on murder, extortion and corruption whilst outwardly giving the appearance of a kind if clumsy bear, the final film in the trilogy will show just how difficult it is to leave that lifestyle behind.
“We couldn’t just have Paddington become a bigger and bigger crime lord,” said producer David Heyman.
“He’s already established as one of the pre-eminent families within the mafia, where else can he go, right?”
Consequently, Heyman hit on the ingenious idea of having Paddington go legit.
“It’s terrific, transitioning from mafia kingpin to legitimate businessman is not easy and presents a real dramatic arc for Paddington.
“I’m particularly fond of this fantastic scene in a kitchen where he’s making himself a marmalade sandwich and the frustration just gets to him and he screams – ‘every time I try to get out, they pull me back in, Mr Brown.’”
However, despite the near universal enthusiasm with which a third Paddington film has been greeted, there have been some concerns that the plot is more than a little similar to the Godfather part III.
“I’ve heard that, and it’s nonsense,” scoffs Heyman.
“I’ve seen that film and there was definitely no Peruvian orphan bears in it.”
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