Scientists have revealed that they have discovered a parallel universe in which everything is identical to ‘our’ earth, except there is a season 4 of Dark running on Netflix.
This discovery was made after a confused and disoriented woman was found in a small village in the Black Forest area of Germany muttering about how it felt really convoluted to have Jonas suddenly pop back into reality near the nuclear power station.
“Apart from her confusion, she was a normal healthy woman,” explained Stewart James, Professor of Weird Sh*t at LMU Munich.
“At first, the person who found her didn’t realise there was anything wrong with her because he’d given up on watching Dark after getting really confused early in the second season.
“Luckily, however, he took her to a local medical centre and the doctor there had watched Dark all the way to the end of season 3 by pausing, taking notes, and frequently conferring with her husband as to exactly who everyone was.”
“It became clear that the strange woman had knowledge of a season 4 of Dark, something that doesn’t exist in our universe and that, therefore, she must come from a parallel universe.”
Professor James believes that the parallel universe was caused by events in the third season of Dark becoming so confusing that another reality was formed in which a simpler version of Dark plays out with everyone discovering that a monster lived in the cave, and when they killed the monster, everything got back to normal.
That then led to a season 4 of Dark being commissioned in that reality.
“That seems the most likely explanation. I mean, there may be some other trans-dimensional, multiversal physics at work here, but frankly, I can’t be bothered to figure out.”
To avoid the creation of any other parallel universes, Professor James suggests everyone sticks to watching Bridgerton instead.
“That’s right, there’s unlikely to be any quantum ramifications from watching Bridgerton, and it’s got boobs in as well!”
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
Want to know what’s on telly this weekend? No problem, click on this Weekend Film Guide
Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
Or, if links aren’t your thing, here’s an old article you might like…
Casablanca remake to be set in Wetherspoons in Chelmsford
A new remake of the classic Humphrey Bogart movie Casablanca will be set in a chain pub in Essex.
Oi, Oi, it’s Casablanca, Geezer, will be set in the Ivory Peg pub in Chelmsford, a large modern Wetherspoons pub popular with people who enjoy a pint of Stella before breakfast and an atmosphere of quiet desperation.
“Yes, at first glance, it does seem a bit of a departure from the original,” said producer Paul Bergman.
“But, the thing about wartime Casablanca is that it was this lawless place full of desperate individuals, which is akin to Chelmsford High Street on a weekend evening.
“It really captures the desperate romanticism of the original, but with much more wkd and vomit.
A clip from the remake shows a nano-skirted Ilsa screaming ‘Leave it, Vic, he’s not worth it,’ as Victor Lazlo accuses barman Rick of ‘looking at my pint.’
The famed and misquoted ‘Play it, Sam’ exchange is given a modern twist by having Sam as the DJ and Rick demanding he play LMFAO’s timeless classic Sexy and I know it.
“It’s the Casablanca that 2018 needs,” confirmed Bergman.
Oi, Oi, it’s Casablanca, Geezer will be released later this year with the tagline – ‘Ave it, you melts. It’s all kicking off at Rick’s.’
Be the first to comment