Bonnet porn – Weekend Film Guide 23rd July

It’s the weekend! Time to put your plans for terrible and bloody revenge into action. But if that sounds like a lot of work, then why not watch these great films instead.

Friday

The Lost Boys BBC1 22.35

Kiefer Sutherland and Ted terrify Santa Clara with vast blow-dried mullets. Jason Patric and a variety of Coreys try to stop them.

Die Hard 2: Die Harder ITV 23.10

Bruce Willis beats up an airport to celebrate Christmas. Features the Terminator with his bits out doing Tai Chi.

On the Waterfront GREAT! Movies 18.05

“I coulda been a contender” – should have made more effort and you would have been then. Lazy.

Saturday

Lady Bird BBC1 22.30

Stroppy teenager is stroppy in the early noughties.

Air Force One 5* 21.00

Indiana Jones becomes president, gets cross, makes everyone jump out of a plane. Bold political agenda.

The Social Network E! 21.00

Grumpy computer man does a Facebook. Features much impossibly speedy typing and writing algorithms on windows.

Sunday

Robin Hood ITV4 21.00

Russell Crowe is unconvincing as Robin Hood. Doesn’t sing, and barely even makes the effort to look like a fox.

Sense and Sensibility Drama 23.25

Absolute bonnet porn.

Marley and Me ITV2 15.40

Gentle romantic comedy in which couple adopt legendary dead reggae singer.

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