Pac-man games were first introduced in the Neolithic era and still endure to this day.
So why, in a world dominated by sophisticated modern computer games like Fortnite, Assassin’s Creed and hacking foreign elections, does Pac-man remain so popular?
We present the Screen Idle guide to Pac-man to help you idiots find out.
Who is Pac-man?
A tiny, round, yellow bastard who eats everything.
Plot
Pac-man has a big meal in a haunted maze
Setting
Unspecified. Possibly France.
Gameplay
Eat stuff – dots, pellets, fruit and ghosts.
History
First known as ‘Jeff the eatey man’ Pac-man was played by cavemen children who carved the characters on walls. This is why Pac-man has such a simple shape.
The game continued through the ages with Pac-man being drawn in mud, carved on trees, scribbled on parchment, drawn on paper, and finally, in 1980, on computer.
Toru Iwatani, a fan of Pac-man, built a super-computer so big that it took up the whole of the Kanto region of Japan, it was over four thousand times as powerful as the computers used by NASA and in order to power the computer, the whole country had to remain without power for two whole days.
It was worth it, however, as Iwatani San had managed to convert that simple Neolithic game of cave carving into the world’s first videogame…apart from Space Invaders.
Trivia
Barry Pac-man of Chorley is such a big Pac-man fan that he has been through extensive plastic surgery to completely transform his body into a big yellow ball with no features except a ginormous mouth.
He is kept in a medically induced coma and receives round the clock care.
Russell Crowe remains the world champion Pac-man player despite strong challenges from Meghan Markle and fictional superhero Thor.
Be the first to comment