It’s the weekend! You could pop round and see Ted and Leslie’s new conservatory but, let’s face it, Ted and Leslie are complete bastards, so why not watch these great films instead.
Friday
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Film4 18.05
Giant robot trips over a thing, gets cross, swears vengeance on whoever left that thing there.
Braveheart 5Star 21.00
Mel Gibson plays a blue-faced angry Scotsman who teams up with Danny Glover’s too-old-for-this-shit cop to battle evil English wizards through time.
Not really, but Hollywood? If you’re reading, call me.
Frozen Horror Channel 23.00
Three skiers are trapped on a chairlift for a week with nothing but a DVD of a Disney classic to sustain them.
Saturday
Young Guns BBC1 23.00
Handsome young cowboys have tremendously blow-dried hair, just like in real life.
Not as good as the Wham song .
Dunkirk BBC1 21.00
Epic true story of how British Navy organised picking up about 50-60 soldiers from Dunkirk, whilst receiving air support from one spitfire.
Dad’s Army BBC2 18.30
Prequel to Dunkirk.
Sunday
Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets ITV 18.05
Harry Potter has a magic old time playing with his wand until it goes off.
Twister Comedy Central 21.00
Absolute weather porn. On Comedy Central so…they’re hilarious tornados?
The Pink Panther Film4 14.30
Man mispronounces ‘monkey’ with hilarious consequences.
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