New sequel to see Alien and Ripley as bickering, mismatched cops

A new sequel in the increasingly beleaguered Alien franchise is set to team Ripley and the alien up as a pair of bickering, mismatched cops.

Following the disastrous Prometheus and the one that came afterwards that no one can remember, producers have decided the time is right to reboot the story.

“When making Prometheus, we had two choices,” said director Ridley Scott.

“Do we make a long, boring, exposition-heavy piece about the birth of life, or do we make Ripley and the alien mismatched, bickering cops?

“We made a mistake that time, we won’t do so again.”

Working out of the toughest precinct in New York, Ripley and the alien are tasked to work a series of crimes by their no-nonsense chief who’s not going to take their crazy BS.

At first the relationship is strained, with the alien attempting to lay eggs in the chests of colleagues and Ripley obsessed with taking off and nuking New York from orbit.

However, as the film goes on, the pair gain a grudging respect for each other that culminates in the alien sacrificing herself to save Ripley as the old wharf that contains all the drugs explodes.

“I’m really convinced that this will give the movies the shot in the arm they need,” continued Scott.

“If it doesn’t though, we’ve got a bunch of other ideas to reboot the series, like Ripley and the alien forced to share an expensive apartment, Ripley and the alien as Sherlock and Watson, and even Ripley and the alien running a small hotel in Torquay in the late seventies.

“So, the series is in safe hands.”