New Jurassic World Film to feature Jurassic Cavemen

The final film in the Jurassic World trilogy will feature Jurassic Cavemen, it has been announced.

In order to deal with the dinosaurs that have escaped from the dinosaur auction and are now roaming across America, scientists use science to clone cavemen from the Jurassic era to hunt the rogue creatures down and prevent the sort of dinosaur/human bloodbath that was commonplace in Stone Age times.

“Finally!” exclaimed Jurassic fan Kelly Grace.

“It’s the one thing that never made any scientific sense with the films. If you’ve got a load of dinosaurs on the loose, attacking people, then it makes sense to get a load of cavemen to stop them.

“I mean, cavemen will have spent their lives hunting down dinosaurs for food and everything, so they’ll know exactly how to kill them.

“It’s just been so unrealistic that the haven’t done that before.”

Director Colin Trevorrow explains exactly how the Jurassic Cavemen are cloned.

“Scientists travel to Africa where all the cavemen lived and find a caveman encased in amber, so they take that back to the laboratory, inject a big needle into the caveman’s…well, let’s just say the whole procedure is a little undignified for the caveman.

“Then they have the caveman DNA, so it’s a simple matter of using science to turn that DNA into a real live caveman.”

However, as helpful as they are with hunting down dinosaurs, the presence of the Jurassic cavemen is a source of friction for the heroes of the film.

“Oh yes, in this film we see that Owen and Claire’s relationship is ongoing, but then Claire develops a chemistry with a caveman called Ugg who likes her high-heeled shoes. So, not only does Owen have to team up with the cavemen to kill all the dinosaurs, but he’s also got to stop one of them stealing his girlfriend.”

Whilst fans will be pleased to finally see Jurassic cavemen make an appearance, Trevorrow confirmed that classic dinosaurs Sauropods and Plateosaurus’s will not.

“Of course not,” he laughed.

“They’re Triassic dinosaurs. You can’t mix them with Jurassic ones, that would be mental, paleontologically speaking.”