New Hollywood remake of Downfall to have happy ending in which couple escape

An oft-rumoured remake of Downfall has been announced that will give the story a more uplifting spin in which the leading couple escape and live quietly together in the countryside.

The original German version of Downfall ended with the suicide of the protagonists as well as many of their friends.

“Downfall? Hell of a picture,” enthused producer Stewart James.

“I mean, I haven’t seen it, it’s in German. But, you know, the shouting, the memes, the whole thing is just terrific.

“I’ve got to be honest though, ending with everyone’s suicide? That is a major downer. I don’t get why they’d do that. You know, you spend all this time with these people and they’re doing their thing and being German and then after two hours they kill themselves? You’ve got to be crazy to want to watch that.”

Mr Stewart went on to explain the changes he envisages for the remake.

“No suicides, man! I mean, come on. Obviously.

“Instead of killing themselves, we have the couple make a daring escape. You know, real Mission Impossible stuff – creeping past guards, ducking under infra-red beams, knocking a vase off a table that, if it smashes, could alert everyone to their escape, but then catching it.

“Then we have a nice happy ending where they live in the countryside and raise puppies.

“Also, that bunker thing is a bit bleak, so we’ll set the whole thing on a beach and change the lead guy’s name to Hiller or Hllier. Athur Hillier, something like that. More American sounding, anyway.”

He also announced the new title.

“Uplift! Bit more optimistic.”

Should the remake of Downfall prove successful, it is understood that Mr James has tentative plans for remakes of Miracle Mile, Requiem for a Dream and Atonement, all with nice happy endings.