New fifty-pound note to feature Austin Powers

austin powers

The new fifty-pound note will pay tribute to one of the country’s greatest servants.

Austin Powers is a heroic British secret agent who has saved the world, on a number of occasions, from the likes of Goldmember, Fat Bastard, and even Dr Evil who, many believe, isn’t even a real doctor.

“Austin Powers is one of Britain’s finest heroes,” explained Stewart James, who oversaw the selection process.

“Not only did he save the world from lasers, but he also shagged many, many birds. Which is something that is always considered when selecting the portrait for banknotes.”

It seems that the decision has proved to be largely a popular one.

“Great choice!” Tweeted former Prime Minister Theresa May.

“I was concerned for a while that they would go with a boring old scientist or statesman, and I’m glad they rejected such an old-fashioned idea in favour of a great British hero who is also very, very sexy indeed.

“I mean, phoar, eh?”

It is understood that whilst Austin Powers was the leading choice to be on the fifty-pound note from the start of the process, there were other strong candidates such as Bernard Bresslaw, Sporty Spice, and a regular from the King’s Head in Neasden who once ate thirteen boiled eggs.


*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’

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