New Evil Dead Spin-Off to Feature ‘Far More’ Puppies

Following the success of Evil Dead Rise, a new Evil Dead spin-off has been announced that, intriguingly, promises ‘far more’ puppies.

“You know, we were real happy that ‘Rise’ did so well,” explained producer Stewart James.

“But, again, like all the other Evil Dead films, it wasn’t very nice. It’s all just blood, death, demonic possession and shouting. I mean, Evil Dead fans are great. The best. It can’t be very nice for them to sit through all of that gore and unpleasantness every time we release a film.”

He promised that this new spin-off will be a lot nicer and more pleasant.

“First thing, it’s going to have far more puppies than any of the other films. Everyone loves puppies, right? So we’re going to have hundreds of puppies just all running about. That’s a bit nicer than somebody’s face gushing blood all over the place.”

The puppies wouldn’t be the only ‘nice’ thing about this new spin-off.

“Well, we’ll set it on a nice sunny day in the park with pretty flowers everywhere. We’ll have a soundtrack of some really nice pop music, like Abba. We’ll build a plot around a baking competition or something, so there’s lots of nice cakes all the time.

“It’s just going to be a really delightful experience for all the family.”

Evil Dead: Puppies and Flowers will begin filming this year.