The National Union of henchmen have voted to take industrial action, in a move which could cripple the generation and implementation of evil plans for the foreseeable future.
Some 80% of henchmen belong to the NUH and their demands include less arbitrary shootings from crimelords and mandatory holidays.
“Henchmen are the backbone of criminal enterprise in this country,” said Stewart Buxton, the firebrand leader of the NUH.
“For too long we have tolerated low pay, little or no holiday or medical benefits, and regularly being put in dangerous situations that see our members get shot at by rogue and/or maverick cops.
“We are in agreement that the time is right to withdraw our labour until such a time as we can secure a better deal for henchmen everywhere.”
The International Confederation of Crimelords have vowed not to bow to union pressure.
“Who are these scum who believe they can dictate their terms to me. TO ME!” screamed Ramon Bastard, Chairperson of the ICC.
“Bring them before me and they will suffer for their insolence.”
But Mr Buxton refused to be intimidated.
“I will be happy to sit down with Mr Bastard for negotiations on behalf of my members, but not until he withdraws any and all threats to make me suffer for my insolence.”
It seems, currently, that the two sides are a long way from agreement and consequently, months of disrupted evil plans look likely.
If you were planning on being a victim of an evil plan in the near future, experts recommend arriving early and being prepared for a long wait. Possibly bring a book.
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