Fears The Lord of The Rings: The Rings Of Power May Not Have Boobs

There are growing fears that lavish new fantasy series The Rings of Power may not feature any boobs.

The first two episodes of the first season were released last week and featured no boobs at all, no bums, not even any sexy ladies kissing each other.

“I’ll be honest, I’m worried,” explained Stewart James, a lifelong fantasy fan.

“There’s been over two hours so far, I’d have expected boobs by now. I mean, unless the next episode is some sort of boob-extravaganza where everyone is naked for the whole episode, then I think it’s fair to say it’s going to be a lot less sexy than everyone had been expecting.”

The Rings of Power is the most expensive TV show ever made and so expectations were high that there would be boobs.

“Well, yeah, I definitely feel let down,” continued Mr James.

“It’s a big fantasy show, it’s expensive, it’s hyped. Obviously, I was expecting boobs. Everyone was. I’m trying to get my head round the idea that there’s another six hours of weird creatures, pseudo-medieval dialogue, grumpy dwarves and all that whatnot without any boobs or bums to look forward to.”

Mr Stewart was unsure if he was going to keep watching or not.

“I don’t know. I’m not sure there’s any point. I can’t really see them suddenly bring boobs in other episodes. But, that said, even without boobs, I’m still pretty intrigued to see what the Targaryens were like 200 years ago, and if there’s any sort of clue as to why Daenerys would suddenly go mad and kill everyone.”