Marvel has paid an undisclosed sum to add the newly-discovered super-gonorrhoea to its cinematic universe.
The super-gonorrhoea was discovered in a British man and its powers include a resistance to antibiotic treatment and being shower-proof.
“Yeah, we’ll be introducing Super-gonorrhoea in the second Infinity War picture,” said Marvel boss Kevin Feige.
“Then we’ll go into a full backstory in the standalone picture Super-gonorrhoea in 2021.”
“We’re also hoping for a tie-in between Super-gonorrhoea and Ant-man that features an entire battle-sequence set in someone’s pubes.”
It had been thought that Super-gonorrhoea would be subject to a bidding war between Marvel and DC, but the sexually transmitted disease made it clear that it had no wish to associated with Superman vs Batman as that might tarnish its reputation.
It is rumoured that the origin of Super-gonorrhoea is that it came into being after the Hulk has a one-night stand with Rocket Raccoon in a radioactive bed.
This is in the film, of course, and there is no suggestion that this was how the super-gonorrhoea was created in real life.
Apart from anything else, in real life a raccoon could never survive a sexual encounter with a ten-foot tall radioactive rage-monster.
It’s just not plausible.
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