Well, it’s the weekend again, and that can only mean one thing – glorious revolution and smashing the patriarchy.
Although, that sounds like a lot of work. Tell you what, let’s do that next weekend and spend this weekend watching these films instead.
Friday
Rocky Balboa ITV 22.45
478-year-old Rocky punches people.
Red Dragon 5* 23.30
Star of Game of Thrones is a communist.
Air Force One 5* 21.00
Indiana Jones becomes president, gets cross, makes everyone jump out of a plane. Bold political agenda.
Saturday
Fast & Furious 6 ITV2 21.00
I can’t remember. This might be the one about family or it might not. I’m going to take a punt and say, yes, this is the one about family.
Saving Private Ryan 5* 21.00
Forrest Gump has to rescue Jason Bourne from war.
Pearl Harbour 5* 18.40
Story of Japan’s attack on US improved by Ben Affleck sulking because Josh Harnett gets off with his girlfriend.
Sunday
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix ITV2 16.20
Hurrah! Harry’s back on Sunday evening. Last week, there was no Harry Potter film on a Sunday teatime for the first time since 1972. So glad he’s back.
The Italian Job Channel 5 13.20
Marky Mark stars as Michael Caine in remake of cockney nonsense that you’ll forget about in minutes.
“You were only supposed to blow him off.”
Ghostbusters E4 18.20
Oh my god! They’re ladies! And they’re busting ghosts. Run! Hide! It’s the end of the world!
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