A man best known for starring in Marvel films has announced his plan to star in a film that isn’t as good as the Marvel films.
The man, who became one of the highest-paid stars in the world after having starred in the Marvel films, has now decided that, rather to continue to be in Marvel films, he will be in a film that isn’t as good as the Marvel films.
“The time has come for me to step away from Marvel films, and broaden my horizons by appearing in films that aren’t as good as the Marvel films,” said the man.
“I want people to understand that there is more to me than the character I’m known for in the Marvel films, I can play less-interesting characters in much worse films as well. I’m an actor and I have a really quite broad range.”
The new film is to be a lightweight formulaic buddy-cop caper in which the man plays a maverick cop but is partnered up with someone funnier than him – Mellissa McCarthy or Seth Rogan – and, whilst they initially don’t seem to get on, what with the funny one’s wacky behaviour and the maverick cop’s maverick ways, throughout the film they develop a begrudging respect and friendship. Then the maverick one duffs up the baddie.
“I’m really looking forward to exploring the slightly cliched aspects of this new character while being upstaged on screen by Melissa or Seth,” said the man.
“It’s an exciting new challenge for me.”
It is thought that following the film that is not as good as the Marvel films, the man will star in a film that is way worse than the Marvel films, followed by sequel to the first film that is still quite a lot worse than the Marvel films, before returning to the Marvel films and being really quite good again.
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
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Film critic really shakes things up by declaring classic movie ‘overrated’
A film critic has really shaken up the tiny group of people who still care what film critics say by declaring a classic movie to be ‘overrated.’
With breath-taking use of the word ‘actually’ critic Merydith Bunyon wrote a piece describing Quentin Tarantino’s Reservoir Dogs ‘overrated, noisy, and actually a footnote in modern film.’
That piece was then shared on Facebook by her Mum and has been read by up to 15 people.
“Wow, she’s definitely blown my mind by suggesting that Reservoir Dogs, a film widely acknowledged to be very good, isn’t very good,” said credulous simpleton Jeremy Mincemeat
“It’s the kind of free-thinking, anti-establishment attitude that was personified in the mid-nineties by Reservoir Dogs.”
“Which I now realise isn’t very good.”
Ms Bunyon has denied that she’s just an attention seeking hack and film critics seeking to give iconoclastic ‘critical re-evaluation’ to movies is the most tedious thing in film journalism since Sight and Sound.
“Actually, it’s important that film critics challenge the critical consensus established by critics by writing internet think-pieces about classic films being not very good on a weekly basis.”
Ms Bunyon has no intention of stopping with Reservoir Dogs, either.
“No, I’ll probably do 2001 next, no one’s done that in ages” she said
“That’ll really shake things up.”
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