It’s the weekend! Time to take to the woods and dance naked around the fire until the spirit of Pan infuses your very being. Or you could watch these great films. Your call.
Friday
Guardians of the Galaxy BBC1 22.40
Wacky lads look after a chocolate bar.
American Pie Comedy Central 21.00
Disturbed man keeps having sex with a pie. WHY WON’T SOMEONE HELP HIM? HELP THE SEX PIE MAN.
Tolkien Film4 18.45
Film about a man writing a really long book about disposing of unwanted jewellery. Goes on too long and has 34 endings.
Saturday
The Fast and the Furious ITV2 21.00
Lads drive about and have a nice chat about families. Alright, but will probably never hear of this again.
Notting Hill Sky Showcase 21.30
Outlandish fantasy film about man who makes enough money from travel bookshop to be able to live in Notting Hill.
Halloween Film4 23.20
Horrible teenagers have sex in other people’s beds. Rightly slaughtered.
Sunday
Dances with Wolves Channel 5 15.30
Back in the nineties, Strictly was a *real* challenge.
Transformers: Age of Extinction Channel 4 14.00
Robots shout at you for several hours then turn into cars. People actually voluntarily went to the cinema to watch this.
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