James Cameron develops fourth dimension for Avatar sequels

Visionary director James Cameron has announced that he has developed a new, fourth dimension for the upcoming Avatar sequels.

“Three dimensions are hugely limiting,” said Cameron.

“Up, down, left, right, depth. I mean, that’s fine if you’re a normal director. But I’m James Cameron, and for these Avatar sequels I’m trying to do so much more. I have a vision for these new pictures that is beyond mortal human’s understanding and would be impossible without a fourth dimension.”

He went on to explain exactly what the fourth dimension is.

“Well, it’s a new dimension that is sort of diagonally off to the left and round a bit. You’ll need special glasses.

“It will provoke feelings of joy, dread and mild backache that will really enhance the experience of watching these pictures.”

The development of the new dimension was not easy.

“I’m not going to deny it, many people died,” admitted the Titanic director.

“We lost an entire facility in North California when we first switched on the fourth dimension. It was a bunch of laboratories and a studio. It just got sort of sucked into this unstable dimensional portal and before we knew what had happened, we’d lost over 600 people.

“It was pretty sad, but they knew what they were getting into and their sacrifice was definitely worth it. I’ve experienced watching some footage in four dimensions and it’s pretty awesome.

“Besides, I never said working on a James Cameron picture would be easy. Lives will be lost.”

However, despite the hard work Cameron and his team have put into the technological advancements, it seems that the Avatar sequels have yet to capture the imagination of cinema goers.

“Avatar? That’s that old film about the giant smurfs and their big tree? They’re making a sequel?” said Kelly Grace, a film fan.

“Hmm, I’ll probably wait for it to come to Netflix.”