‘Incredibly hardy balls’ – Weekend Film Guide 4th June

Well, it’s the weekend again, and that can only mean one thing – glorious revolution and smashing the patriarchy.

Although, that sounds like a lot of work. Let’s just watch films instead.

Friday

Zodiac BBC2 23.20

Donnie Darko teams up with Iron Man to not solve some murders

Bad Boys Dave 22.00

Touch, macho cops are inseparable and DEFINIATELY NOT GAY.

Aw, hell no.

The Green Mile 5 USA 21.00

Wizard goes to prison. Mends a mouse. Comes to a bad end. Whole thing goes on for about six weeks.

Saturday

Casino Royale ITV 22.20

James Bond gets off with sexy ladies and saves the world by having incredibly hardy balls

Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom ITV2 17.05

All the dinosaurs come to live in a big house in America with one of the detectorists.

Raiders of the Lost Ark Film4 21.00

Man with nice hat successfully has ancient artefact of terrifying power put in warehouse.

Sunday

The Mechanic Paramount 21.00

Jason Statham sucks air through his teeth and goes on about a knackered carburettor until the baddies all go away.

Planet of the Apes Channel 5 12.50

Apes take over the world, make a better fist of it than us.

The Longest Day Film4 13.05

Classic epic about a rainy Wednesday in February.