Commander Data’s new megalomania upgrade provokes unease

There was increasing unease onboard the Starship Enterprise after the installation of a new megalomania upgrade into Commander Data’s positronic net.

The concern began immediately after the reboot following the installation, when Data’s face screwed into a rictus of hate and he barked – ‘I could crush you like the ants you are.’

He immediately apologised and returned to his duties, but it was enough to provoke unease amongst colleagues.

Since then, his behaviour has continued to trouble.

“I spent the day working with him in Engineering,” explained crewmember Ensign Stewart James.

“Every time I went near him, he’d mutter ‘insect’ – I’ll be honest, I know his record is exemplary and everything, but he’s really starting to creep me out.”

There was also a report from an officer who preferred to remain anonymous. Apparently, she’d found, outside of Commander Data’s quarters, what appeared to be the remnants of a to-do list which read – ‘3, complete and total subjugation of the entire species.’

There have also been reports of Wagner operas being played at volume inside his quarters.

First Officer Commander Riker sought to calm the situation.

“I completely trust Commander Data, I’ve worked with him for many years. I don’t believe we have anything to be worried about.

“He has regular positronic net upgrades – last month, there was the cooking Chinese food upgrade, the month before there was the coarse fishing upgrade, and back in Spring there was the Easter Bunny upgrade, which was very cute.”

“Although, on balance,” he continued, “I can’t help but think we should have installed the cuddles and joy upgrade this month instead of this megalomania one.”