A hobbit was left red-faced after arriving at Mount Doom following an epic quest and admitting that he couldn’t remember what he’d come there to do.
“It’s completely gone out of my head,” said the hobbit, who asked not to be named, so who we’re called Grodo.
“I am a silly old thing. We come all this way. Have all that bother with that funny-looking chap, nearly fall into that marsh, and now we’re here I can’t even remember what I’m here for.
“I made a list and everything. Must have left it back home on the sideboard. I can even remember how it started – ‘1, Go to Mount Doom, 2-‘ then I can’t remember what it said.”
Grodo’s friend and partner but definitely not in that way had accompanied him to Mount Doom.
“Can’t help wishing I’d asked what we were up to,” he admitted.
“To be honest, I just came along because I love spending time with Mr Grodo. Talking to him. Sleeping with him…but not in that way. I knew we were coming here with good reason, I just never thought to ask. Silly of me really.”
After several hours, it became clear that Grodo was not going to be able to remember why he’d visited Mount Doom and so came up with a plan.
“I think that what I’ll do is tell everyone that I’ve fulfilled my quest because, in a way, I have. I mean, I’m here at Mount Doom, aren’t I? So I’ll just tell everyone ‘Yes, successful quest. Mount Doom reached. All’s well.’
“Then I’ll just nip off to the Undying lands before anyone starts asking awkward questions.”
Some links to other bits of the blog that you’ll love*…
*Alright, perhaps ‘love’ is pushing it, maybe ‘be mildly diverted by’
Want to know what’s on telly this weekend? No problem, click on this Weekend Film Guide
Want to impress friends with your superior film knowledge? You’ll be wanting the Fun Facts page.
Or, if links aren’t your thing, here’s an old article you might like…
Michael Hanake’s new film to be cartoon about a clumsy dog
Michael Hanake, the feted Austria in director best known for emotional and complex films like the devastating Amour and the harrowing Funny Games has announced that his new film will be a cartoon about a clumsy dog.
Entitled Barry the Beagle Bangs his Head, the film will tell the story of Barry, a beagle whose clumsiness continually leads to minor bumps and bruises.
“Barry the Beagle Bangs His Head is the story I have always wanted to tell,” said the multiple Palm d’Or winner.
“A simple cartoon about a loveable clumsy dog. It has some very funny slapstick and a nice bit where Barry and a little girl becomes friends.”
Hanake went on to confirm that the film would contain no graphic depictions of loveless sex, shocking moments of violence, and nothing in the way of bleak psychological torture.
“No, I only did all that sort thing to impress girls. I wanted them to think I was really dark and brooding and intellectual and that’s why I made films like Cache and The White Ribbon.
“But, if anything, I’ve grown up a bit now and I’ve finally got the confidence I need to make a cartoon about a clumsy dog.”
Barry the Beagle Bangs His Head is due out early next year and Hanake is already planning the follow up – a nice cartoon about a jolly pony.
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