‘Features a bidet joke’ – Weekend Film Guide 7th October

Well it’s the weekend again, and that can only mean one thing – glorious revolution and smashing the patriarchy.

Although, that sounds like a lot of work. Tell you what, let’s do that next weekend and spend this weekend watching these films instead.

Friday

Waves BBC3 21.00

*Waves back*

The Meg Comedy Central (fair) 21.00

Jason Statham duffs up a shark. Shark probably spilt his pint or looked at him funny. Whatever, shark won’t do it again.

High Noon Film4 11.00

Grumpy sheriff is grumpy because everyone hates him because he’s grumpy.

Saturday

Crocodile Dundee Channel 4 18.50

Australian man visits New York with hilarious consequences. Features a bidet joke.

Don’t judge, it was the eighties. We only had four channels. We’d go to the cinema for anything.

Patriot Games Paramount 23.05

Han Solo duffs up the IRA. Incredibly subtle and nuanced portrayal of Ireland in featuring scene in which a man sits in his rural cottage watching a Clannad video, drinking a pint of Guinness.

To be sure. So it is. Begorrah.

The Sting ITV4 18.15

Biography of lead singer of The Police (the band, not the crime fighting force), presumably.

Sunday

Skyscraper Film4 19.05

Skyscraper tries to duff up The Rock. Regrets it.

Parasite Film4 23.15

Greatest film of this century, apparently. But it’s got subtitles, and who’s got time to read.