The next installment of the Fast & Furious franchise will exclusively feature electric cars.
In the film’s climactic scene, Vin Diesel, who the Government are banning from 2040, will tear away from some lights, accelerating from 0-60 in 13.7 seconds, before running out of power before the next junction.
Vegan director McFincher says, “To stay within government limits, and certain sensible preset climate change parameters, Fast & Furious has to evolve into Slow & Sensible Attitude to Global Warming.
“Drag races will necessarily be reduced from their current quarter-mile length, as electric cars simply don’t go that far. They will now race over 100 metres and can be outpaced by even the most mediocre of sprinters.
“To keep within the new tone, rather than overly-macho characters shouting over at each other, there is now a opportunity to discuss – at quite some length – the downfalls of the internal combustion engine and its impact on the habitats of the Great Crested Newt.
“The main characters will square off against each other over who has the heaviest batteries. This scene will get very sweaty, but primarily as none of the cars have the air-conditioning turned on so they can get an extra 5 miles out of the thing.”
Fast & Furious 9: Eco-Motion opens in 2019. If it gets there in time.
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