Elden Ring movie is just man constantly being killed while unseen presence swears

Further details of the upcoming Elden Ring game have been revealed, with an emphasis on translating to the cinema how it feels to play the game.

“I’ve played this game. A lot,” explained director Alex Garland.

“So, I know that the only true way to translate this to the movie theatre is to just show a man constantly being killed by various creatures while an off-scene voice swears in an ever more creative fashion.

“That will really get over the feeling of playing this game to people unfamiliar with it.”

The Civil War director also spoke of the scope of the world.

“It’s important that we hint throughout the film of the scale and spectacle of the world of Elden Ring,” he continued.

“But we never actually show it because the man is just constantly being killed so viewers should always get that frustration of knowing that there is an incredible world out there, but one that they’ll never see because the man is just constantly dying before they get to go out and have an adventure.”

Finally, to really capture the true essence of the film, cinema-goers will see the film end with a loud bout of swearing and the screen cutting to black, and then being encouraged to go and seek a refund for their ticket because, no matter how impressive the world and story of the film, no one ever got to see any of it because the man kept dying.