Disney seeks acquisition of your subconscious

Entertainment behemoth has announced that it is launching a bid to take a controlling stake in your subconscious.

Following its recent acquisitions of Marvel and Fox, it has become by far the most powerful entertainment company on the planet and alongside its box-office dominance and a new TV-streaming service, it will now seek to control what you ponder, dream, and fantasise about when you should be working.

“We’ve had a look into your subconscious and, you know, there’s some good stuff in there. It’s fine,” said Disney Board chairman Bob Iger.

“But, when you look at our portfolio of properties you could have so much more.

“Imagine playing out a fantasy where you’re Han Solo rescuing Iron Man from a battle with Malificent while you’re sat on the loo? That’s the sort of high quality subconscious we will provide.”

It is understood that following Disney’s acquisition of your subconscious, it will provide content based on two models.

The base model will be free content that will be supported by advertising. The adverts will be tailored to your interests and will appear after every third dream or fantasy.

Alternatively there will be a subscription service that will provide access to premium content with no advertising and is expected to cost around £10 per month.

Following the acquisition of your subconscious, it is thought that Disney will launch a bid to take over reality which, whilst making things much more entertaining, could lead to real life being supported by targeted advertising.