David Attenborough greets our new dolphin overlords

dolphin

Nominated representative of the human race David Attenborough will conclude the current Blue Planet series by greeting our new dolphin overlords and officially and surrendering the planet to their care.

The relinquishing of the planet to the dolphins was arranged by Mr Attenborough and the tiny handful of sensible people who still have any meaningful power in an effort to contain the monumental bellendery of the vast majority of current world leaders.

“Whilst this series of the Blue Planet has been a magnificent feast of the natural world at its most beguiling, it has also been a gentle introduction to our new leaders,” said a Blue Planet producer.

“The dolphins thought that it might ease the transition of power if it was introduced by David Attenborough who, as all right thinking people and dolphins agree, is lovely.”

Dolphins will become the official guardians of the planet from January 1st. The first items of business for them will be to create a sequel to the classic Sega game Ecco the Dolphin, then to commission  a third series of the Blue Planet with none of the boring bits about sea creatures that aren’t dolphins and finally to stop human beings filling up the sea with a load of old crap.

It is understood that should the dolphins had refused to take custody of the planet, Mr Attenborough would have turned it over to some coral.

Although essentially plant life, it is thought that it would still do a better job of looking after the planet than the human race.

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