Concern at reports that only 4% of Starfield planets will have toilets

As people begin to play and review the new blockbuster RPG Starfield, reports are emerging that only 4% of the thousand or so planets in the game will actually feature toilets.

“So, that’s only, what, 40-odd planets that have toilets? That doesn’t seem like enough to me,” said former Prime Minister and RPG fan Theresa May.

“What if I’m right in the middle of a quest that’s taken me to a really remote planet and my character needs a wee? I’m going to have to break off from that quest and fly all the way back to a planet with a toilet for them to go.

“And, if there are so few toilets, then there’ll probably be a queue as well.”

Bethesda admitted that the lack of toilets will come as a disappointment to some players.

“Yes. We accept that people would prefer the thousand-plus planets we’ve created should each come with a toilet. That’s understandable. But I think that when people see the toilets that we have actually created, they’ll be satisfied. Urinals, individual cubicles, beautiful ornate taps and a special futuristic hand-drier that doesn’t even exist in the real world yet.

“These are definitely the best toilets you’ll ever see in a game. Certainly better than Baldur’s Gate 3 where, I don’t know, they expect you to go in a stream or something. Very unhygienic.”

There was also concern that only a handful of planets feature properly maintained tennis courts.

“Again, doesn’t seem like enough,” continued Ms May.

“I was going to have a character who was a keen amateur tennis player, hoping to break through in the galactic leagues. How’re they going to do that if there’s only 3 tennis courts in the universe? Disappointing.”