It’s the weekend! Time to finally get started on building that giant statue of your own face in the front garden. But, if that seems like too much hard work, why not watch these great films instead.
Friday
The Fifth Element 5* 21.00
Disappointing 5th entry in the eduring ‘Element’ franchise.
Life GREAT! Movies 21.00
Epic sciences fiction film based on classic ‘90s Des’ree song.
Baby Driver GREAT! Movies 23.10
Thrill-packed prequel to Taxi Driver.
Saturday
Fifty Shades of Grey 5* 21.00
Porn for people who want to pretend they’re not watching porn.
Dante’s Peak 5* 18.55
James Bond beats up a volcano in small town America. They made two there’s-a-volcano-loose-in-America films in the same year. The nineties were weird.
Look Who’s Talking Now 5* 14.40
Is John Travolta cool again at the moment or not? I’ve lost track. Either way, this doesn’t help his cause.
Sunday
A Fish Called Wanda BBC1 23.30
Classic John Cleese comedy. I wonder what happened to him. You literally never hear anything from John Cleese since he was cancelled.
Quantum of Solace ITV4 21.00
I made an AI read all the James Bond film titles and then make one up and it came up with this. It was clearly a rubbish AI.
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