Calls for release of ‘butthole cut’ of Cats, Joker, and The Irishman

There are growing calls for the release of the ‘butthole cut’ of a variety of recent films.

It emerged earlier in the week that a CGI technician was tasked last year, with methodically removing all of the anuses that were visible in the much-maligned film adaptation of Cats, leaving behind the tantalising prospect that there exists somewhere a cut of the film without the anuses removed.

The butthole cut.

And if Cats has a ‘butthole cut’ then what other films have a similar version, and when will they be released?

“I would imagine that, with the amount of CGI in The Irishman, there is probably a cut of that film from before the buttholes were removed,” said film expert Kelly Grace.

“And I, for one, would like to see it. Joe Pesci and Robert DeNiro giving career-best performances with their buttholes out? Who wouldn’t want to see that?”

Another film to have a rumoured ‘butthole cut’ is Joker.

“Joaquin Phoenix’s Joker stands as one of the most powerful and intense acting performances of modern times,” continued Ms Grace.

“Would having is butthole on display improve that performance? I think there’s only one way to find out, and that’s to release the butthole cut.”

Pain and Glory, John Wick 3, Avengers: Endgame, Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom, A Beautiful Day in the Neighbourhood, The Shape of Water – could all of these recent classics have ‘butthole cuts?’

It seems likely, and film-fans everywhere can only hope that they are released sooner rather than later.

Not The Two Popes though, that would be awful.

The weekend film guide, none of the films in this have an alternative ‘butthole cut.’ As far as we know.