But…is Elf *really* a Christmas film?

Of course it is. I mean, obviously. What else would it be? Elves, Santa, snow, sleighs, sappy American nonsense about family. It’s a Christmas film.

What are you even doing here for goodness sake? That’s patently a clickbait-y title. You really should be a little more internet-savvy. Are you the sort of person who clicks on those links that go ‘You won’t believe what Bill Murray looks like now’ and it’s just a picture of Bill Murray? Or ‘Gal Gadot thought the cameras had stopped rolling and you won’t believe what happened next?’ And it’s just her scratching her ear or something. Actually, you must be the sort of person who clicks on those sort of links because you’re here so here’s some links you are going to love.

The Gal Gadot one.

The Bill Murray one

I mean, the thing you can feel good about? At least you didn’t click on a link saying ‘Is Die Hard a Christmas film?’ There are, like, a bazillion of those articles every year, each fine-tuned to meet the Google algorithm by mentioning ‘Die Hard’ and ‘Christmas Film’ no fewer than three times and no more than six times, all at just over 300 words long.

And we’ve got AI now! My god, the amount of ‘Is Die Hard a Christmas Film?’ articles we’re going to end up with. We’re going to need more AI just to handle the amount of ‘Is Die Hard a Christmas film?’ articles it’s going to be expected to write. Server farms around the world will have steam coming off them as AI struggles to write millions and millions of words about the Nakatomi Christmas party and John McClane going home for Christmas.

So, yeah, stop clicking on articles about whether Die Hard is a Christmas films. It only encourages people, and the inevitable endgame is an article about whether or not Elf is a Christmas film.

Which it obviously is, idiot.