‘Angry lady kills everyone’ – Weekend Film Guide 19th August

It’s the weekend! Why not distract yourself from the grinding misery of existence by drinking yourself into a stupor and passing out in front of these films.

Friday

Point Break BBC1 22.40

Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze surf at each other until crimes stop happening.

Psycho Legend (What?) 21.00

Woman stays in disappointing motel.

Little Women GREAT! Movies 21.00

Not that little. If anything, they’re normal-sized. Rubbish. Must try harder.

Saturday

Kill Bill: Vol 2 Sky Showcase 22.00

Angry lady kills everyone because she’s cross that this film isn’t as good as the first one.

Last of the Mohicans Paramount 21.00

Apparently, Daniel Day-Lewis was so dedicated to the role of Hawkeye that, in order to prepare, he travelled back in time to the 1700s and lived with the Mohican tribe for a year, and can actually be seen in some pictures from the period.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home FILM4 16.30

Future bastards steal a whale.

Sunday

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen Channel 4 15.40

Giant robot trips over a thing, gets cross, swears vengeance on whoever left said thing there.

Christine Syfy 21.00

Haunted car murders everyone. Brilliant. I watched it when I was sick a few months ago, I’m now not sick. I’m not saying definitively there’s a connection, but you can’t argue with the evidence.

Whiplash GREAT! Movies 23.05

Man hits drum with stick. Everyone seems happy about it. Far more shouting than is really necessary

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