Hey you. It’s the weekend. A perfect time to complete ignore that massive list of stuff to do you’ve got and sit about in your pants eating biscuits and watching films.
Here’s some movies you may end up watching because you can’t be arsed finding the remote.
Friday
When Harry Met Sally BBC1 10.40
Greatest Romcom ever made. Meg Ryan does sexy shouting. All that. But what no one talks about is that it was 1989 and the de-aging work on Meg Ryan and Billy Crystal is more convincing than Robert DeNiro in the Irishman.
The Spy Who Came in from the Cold GREAT! Movies 21.00
Chilly spy pops in for a warm
Stonehenge Apocalypse Horror Channel 16.00
Ancient nuclear missiles hidden beneath Stonehenge by the Mayans are accidentally triggered and case an apocalypse. Something like that, I’m sure.
Saturday
The Spy Who Loved Me ITV 20.00
Aging serial murderer murders people and gets off with variety of sexy, sexy ladies. Oh James.
Jumper Film4 19.15
Man discovers he has the ability to teleport and, because he’s a bit chilly, goes on an epic quest across the planet to get some nice cosy, knitwear.
The Day After Tomorrow Film4 21.00
America gets invaded by weather. Dennis Quaid plays a man who inexplicably walks across weathery America because his son is trapped in a library. None of it makes any sense and the wolf effects look like I did them.
Sunday
Apollo 13 ITV4 19.40
Tom Hanks gets stuck in space and can’t go to the moon. Men with tidy haircuts figure out how to get him back.
I won’t spoil the ending.
The Da Vinci Code GREAT! Movies 21.00
Forrest Gump grows an improbable and unpleasant mullet then runs around Europe explaining things to anyone who will listen.
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