A small group of actors have been found in a remote part of the Philippines who still believe they are working on the Apocalypse Now shoot.
A group of five men, thought to be extras, were discovered in military fatigues, smoking marijuana and in the throes of a forty year long existential crisis at the base of a mountain on the Philippine island of Luzon.
“It’s tragic, really,” said a spokesperson for the Government who is working to have them repatriated.
“These guys just got left behind. They never heard the call to cut so they’ve just gone on, doing their best as background artists for nearly forty years.”
It is understood that, heartbreakingly, one of the actors has become a world-class surfer in preparation for work on Captain Kilgore reshoots that have never come. Another only speaks in his character’s Brooklyn accent, in case he’s picked up by microphones that have long since stopped recording.
“Right now, they’re just trying to come to terms with the fact that the filming has concluded. At the moment they think we’re just other actors and that the movie has taken a really surreal turn.”
“The key thing is to prevent them watching the West Wing as that’s really going to freak them out.”
The actors will be returned to the US and reintegrated into society where they will be given psychologically comforting roles in films about puppies having nice adventures.
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