Weird! Road House Anytime – a streaming service dedicated to showing Road House – doesn’t exist

There was confusion and despair amongst film fans as it emerged that ‘Road House Anytime’, a streaming service dedicated to showing 80s bouncer classic Road House, doesn’t exist.

Although there are streaming services dedicated to people taking off their clothes and doing things to each other, to people wearing lycra to duff each other up, and to four-hour-long subtitled black-and-white Luxembourgian dramas about a maudlin ox, bizarrely, there is no streaming service that will let you watch Road House at any time during the day.

“Frankly, I was shocked,” explained Stewart James, a normal member of the human race who just wants to watch Road House.

“Like most people, I want to watch Road House because…well, it’s Road House. So, I thought there must be a service that exists purely dedicated to showing Road House that I could sign up to and watch Road House but, unbelievably, that service doesn’t appear to exist.

“I mean, my god, we can put people on the moon, we can understand the human genome, but we can’t make a streaming service that allows people to watch Road House whenever people want? I think that, as a people, we need to take a long look at our priorities.”

Since it became apparent that ‘Road House Anytime’ doesn’t exist, there have been a number of calls for governments to step in and take control of the situation.

The UN have agreed to put the issue on the agenda for their next session, and there is hope that, no matter how deeply divided the world is, we can come together and create a simple way to watch Road House for the good of all humanity.