It’s the weekend, and it’s hotter than the sun. You could go outside, but you’d more than likely just catch fire or melt. So why not stay in and watch these great films
Friday
The Devil’s Own Sony Movie Channel 00.55
Bejasus! Brad Pitt’s an oirish fella, so he is, so he is. Terrible old nonsense where everyone’s first and surname starts with ‘O’ and they all talk about ‘the auld country’ whilst drinking Guinness with the Pogues playing in the background.
To be sure.
The Guest Film4 00.40
Downton Abbey bloke shoots everyone. No one watched it at the cinema. Proof that everyone is stupid.
Alien 3 Channel 4 00.30
Cast of Kes in space with bald Sigourney Weaver. Mad people think this is the best one.
Saturday
Marley & Me 5* 10.30
Legendary reggae singer buys a dog…or something. I don’t know. Looks awful. I’ll be honest, this is an terrible weekend of films, it’s almost as if there were several major sporting events on.
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey ITV2 17.45
Well, it’s on every other weekend at the moment, so I’m starting to think the ‘unexpected’ in that title is a little misleading.
Labyrinth 5* 12.50
David Bowie’s magic codpiece leads the muppets against Jennifer Connolly. My theory is that she plays the same character in Requiem for a Dream and is so traumatised by David Bowie’s package as a youth that she grows up a drug addict.
Sunday
Mamma Mia! ITV2 18.45
Abba with pictures. Just listen to Abba Gold instead, much more fun.
The Little Vampire Sony Movie Channel 14.40
Original version of Let The Right One In, probably.
The Box BBC2 22.55
I don’t know, something about a box. Apparently, it’s science fiction horror, so I guess it’s a scary box from space.
Seriously, you really want to be into football or tennis this weekend.
Be the first to comment