It’s the weekend, and it’s January. So, you’ll be busy drinking your quinoa and misery smoothie and getting great value for money from that new gym membership.
But on the off-chance you fancy spending it on the sofa with the leftover pound shop lager and some out-of-date stuffing balls, here’s some great films to watch.
Saturday
Back to the Future Part II 14.40 Film4
Marty McFly goes back in time to watch himself, who previously went back in time, get off with his mum. Or something.
Also, his girlfriend changes into someone else and no one notices. Idiots.
Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them 17.35 ITV
In America, apparently.
Seabiscuit 16.05 Sony Movie Channel
Disappointing follow up to Chocolate biscuit
Bad Boys 21.00 Dave
Closeted homosexual policemen pretend to not be sexually attracted to each other.
Sunday
Titanic 19.00 E4
Couple have sex in back of stranger’s car but get away with it because boat sinks.
Also, Monet’s use of colour is ‘amazing.’
Volcano 11.00 Film4
LA blows up because there’s a volcano underneath it. Science, bitch.
Se7en 22.00 ITV4
Way dark Lethal Weapon remake.
New at the cinema
The Favourite
Essentially Carry On Queen Anne, but it’s got Olivia Coleman in so everyone’s getting overexcited.
I went to see it last night. Recommended.
DVD of the week
Jurassic World: Fallen Kingdom
All the dinosaurs come to live in a big house in America with one of the detectorists.
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