It’s the weekend. Time to open your heart and mind to the infinite possibilities of all existence…or lie on the sofa eating chipsticks and watching these great films.
Saturday
The King’s Speech 21.00 Sony Movie Channel
Posh man learns to swear to help Britain do a war.
Red River 18.20 ITV4
John Wayne spills strawberry jam in a river.
The Hunger Games 21.00 E4
Apparently, they’re considering Hunger Games for the next Olympics. So, if you’ve got kids, you may want to train them in basic combat techniques and they could go on to win a medal.
Sunday
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring 19.00 ITV2
Young man with an impressive ring goes for a walk with some friends.
ET 17.45 E*
Evil space gnome breaks little boy’s toys before dressing up as an old lady to con people out of sweets.
Mother’s Day 18.45 Film4
No idea. Man organises Mother’s Day treat for Mum but forgets that he’s also got a romantic date with an attractive lady and has to save the orphanage. Hilarious, Heartwarming, wacky chaos ensues. Something like that.
Whatever, don’t forget to buy your Mum a card.
New at the cinema this weekend
Dumbo
Elephant with big ears gets ideas above his station and stops being a cartoon.
DVD of the week
The Guest
Downton Abbey bloke shoots everyone. No one watched it at the cinema. Proof that everyone is stupid.
One of my favourites.
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