It’s the weekend! Let’s all go and meet in the pub. I’ll reserve a table. Just go in and asks for Neil’s table. On the other hand, if that sounds rubbish, then you could watch these films instead.
Saturday
Creed ITV 10.40
Rocky is too old to do punching, so he gets a younger man to do the punching. Various people get punched and everyone feels good about themselves.
Recommended if you enjoy punching.
Seabiscuit Sony Movie Channel 16.00
Horse gets teased about having a silly name so wins all the races. Stars Spiderman (not as the horse).
Blair Witch Channel 4 00.20
Idiot hipsters go for walk in woods and get got by witch. Your sympathies will be with the witch.
Sunday
Robin Hood Channel 4 14.35
Definitive account of outlaw fox who robs from the rich and gives to the paw (see what I did there? But cause he’s a fox and…oh forget it)
Still keep trying to do new versions, there was one a few years ago with Russell Crowe, but he just couldn’t nail a fox accent.
The China Syndrome Sony Movie Channel 10.50
Bloke goes to the doctor and goes ‘Doctor, I think I’m a cup and saucer…’
Eyethangewe.
Independence Day-saster Horror Channel 15.00
No, I’m not joking. Look it up.
New at the cinema this weekend
Alien
Never heard of it. Something about an alien attacking a spaceship, sounds rubbish.
DVD of the week
They Live
A drifter discovers a pair of sunglasses that allows him to see that the politicians and elites are all evil aliens bent on exploiting humankind in this hard-hitting documentary about life in Trump’s America
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