Hey you, it’s the weekend. A perfect time to completely ignore that massive list of stuff to do you’ve got and sit about in your pants eating biscuits.
Here’s some movies you may end up watching because you can’t be arsed finding the remote.
Saturday
The Departed ITV4 23.00
Matt Damon and Leonardo Dicaprio shout at each other until they get shot in the face. Mark Wahlberg is sweariest man in the world. Also features President Bartlett for some reason
Mission Impossible: Ghost Protocol Channel 4 21.10
Tom Cruise successfully completes fourth impossible mission suggesting the nature of the missions is a exaggerated.
Pan 5* 12.55
Sequel to Pot.
Sunday
Mad Max: Fury Road 5Spike 21.00
Max drives somewhere then comes back. He so crazy.
Drive Sony Movies 01.15
One of the Ryans drives about in the dark with a Jean Michel-Jarre CD playing in the background.
Crocodile Dundee Channel 4 16.35
Australian man visits New York with hilarious consequences. Features a bidet joke.
Don’t judge, it was the eighties. We only had four channels. We’d go to the cinema for anything.
New at the cinema this week
Frozen II
The continued adventures of some cold women. If you weren’t singing ‘Let it go’ when you saw the film title, you are now.
DVD of the week
Kiss the Girls
One of the sixty bazillion serial killer movies released in the wake of Silence of the Lambs. Plot is probably that an unconventional cop has to track down a hyper-intelligent serial killer who plays the violin then turns out to be his partner…or something like that.
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