A local maniac is already watching Christmas films, it has emerged.
Kelly Grace shocked friends when she announced plans to ‘curl up under a blanket and watch Home Alone,’ despite the fact that it was clearly still November and the advent calendar wouldn’t even be up for another week.
“She always seemed so nice, so normal,” explained neighbour Stewart James.
“Now I learn that she’s some sort of November Christmas film watching crazy person.”
He went on to say that he was unnerved and even a little scared by the behaviour.
“Certainly I am, I mean, who knows what she’s capable of. If she’s the sort of person who watches Christmas films before it’s Christmas then, for all I know, she could have the corpses of all her victims buried under the patio.
“She’s clearly a maniac.”
There has long been a mistrust of people watching Christmas films before December after it emerged that Joseph Stalin, whose reign of terror saw the deaths of millions of Russians, used to enjoy watching Holiday Inn in June.
“Now look, no one is saying that Grace is definitely going to organise a genocide just because she likes watching Home Alone before Christmas but, you know, we shouldn’t take the risk, should we?”
It is understood that Ms Grace has already been reported to the authorities and her friends and neighbours are hoping she’ll be safely locked away long before normal people start watching Christmas films.
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