It’s the weekend. Time to lie on the sofa without any trousers on, eating your own body-weight in malteasers and watching these great films
Saturday
Philadelphia Sony Movies Classic 16.25
Tom Hanks stars in biography of some soft cheese.
Moneyball Sony Movies 09.00
Man makes baseball entertaining by adding really hard sums.
Disturbia Film4 21.00
Finally, the Shia LaBeouf remake of Rear Window the world was waiting for.
Sunday
Drive Sony Movies 01.15
One of the Ryans drives about in the dark with a Jean Michel-Jarre CD playing in the background.
Diamonds and Forever ITV4 16.15
James Bond saves the world by getting off with a sexy lady and wearing an unconvincing hairpiece
Space Jam ITV2 14.20
Bugs Bunny and Michael Jordan team up to invent something for astronauts to put on their toast.
Netflix film of the weekend
Labyrinth
David Bowie’s magic codpiece leads the muppets against Jennifer Connolly. My theory is that she plays the same character in Requiem for a Dream and is so traumatised by David Bowie’s package as a youth that she grows up a drug addict.
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