It’s the weekend! By all means get excited, but no matter what happens, the empty drudgery of existence will continue in two short days. So you may as well watch these films.
Saturday
The Green Mile More4 21.00
The adventures of a magic mouse in prison. Finishes on Tuesday.
Dante’s Peak Film4 17.05
James Bond beats up a volcano in small town America. They made two there’s-a-volcano-loose-in-America films in the same year. The nineties were weird.
Top Cat Top (Me either, probably some outlier of Virgin telly) 15.30
Modern version of classic cartoon. If I had to watch this or spend ninety minutes smashing my face against the wall, I’d give it serious consideration.
Sunday
Brief Encounter ITV3 11.05
Working class people eat sticky buns at a station while posh couple fail to get off with each other.
Steel Magnolias True Movies 1 18.50
Southern women get haircuts and are indomitable. Will keep your Mum quiet.
Firefox ITV4 21.00
Clint Eastwood has to drive a plane really fast using an Internet browser.
New at the cinema this weekend
Instant Family
Feel-good comedy that will make you want to punch people in the face.
Marky Mark adopts children with hilarious consequences. Everyone learns that families are really important and then four sequels happen because people actually watch this flaccid dreck.
Not you, though. You’re far too smart for that.
DVD of the weekend
Convoy True Entertainment 21.00
Lorry driving classic made to appeal to men who had CB radios in the shed and insisted they were called by their ‘handle’ of ‘Thunderbolt’ or ‘Hot Sneakers.’
Cracking theme tune, mind.
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