It’s the weekend! Time to drink the blood of your enemies from the skulls of their families.
Or you could just get some Fanta. Either way, enjoy it with these great films.
Saturday
The Wicker Man Horror Channel 21.00
Nicholas Cage stars as Edward Woodward in scary bee malarkey.
The Social Network Sony Movie Channel 21.00
Man builds Facebook. Other men say he didn’t. Everyone is a bit caustic with each other and then it stops.
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides BBC1 18.30
Johnny Depp plays a boggle-eyed pirate with a rubbish accent on millionth film in a franchise based on the most boring ride in Disneyworld
Sunday
The Theory of Everything ITV3 22.00
Eddie ‘I’m doing proper acting, actually’ Redmayne does proper acting, actually in well-regarded please-can-I-have-an-Oscar classic about maths bloke.
Apollo 13 ITV 13.50
Tom Hanks gets stuck in space. Men with tidy haircuts figure out how to get him back.
World War Z Film4 21.00
Brad Pitt stars as Brad Pitt in film about Brad Pitt saving world from zombies by going to empty laboratory in Wales.
My Birthday All channels All day
Wine soaked extravaganza celebrating several years of being me.
2nd Anniversary of Screen Idle All Channels All day
Two years since I gave myself a weird birthday present.
New at the cinema this weekend
Gaza
Documentary about English footballing legend, presumably.
The Playmobil Movie
Can’t imagine where they got the idea from.
DVD of the week
My Generation
Documentary featuring Michael Caine, Paul McCartney, Mary Quant and loads of other old people smugly banging on about how everything was better in the sixties. Like being stuck in a room with a drunk uncle.
Bloody kids, don’t know they’re born, etc, etc
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